Other than a bigger belly - nothing new to tell.

Has it really been a month since I posted last?

Wow - well, Christmas season is here - full swing getting ready.

I haven't been to the doctor yet - they cancelled my December appt - and won't go now until sometime in January.

All of which is fine with me - I'm sure they will be wanting me to take that Glucose Tolerance Test, which I don't want to do... so I'm glad for the delay.

Baby moves around alot - getting bigger for sure.

Still don't have a name.

We are close - thinking about Sloane Elizabeth - but everyone hates it.

Everyone being the Grandparents!!!

It is an unusual name, but I like it - cute for a child, unique for a teenager and great for a professional name.

We stll have time to think about it.

It's a GIRL!!!!!

We went to the doctor's office this week. Brought the entire family - kids were off of school and I thought it would be neat for the girls to see the new baby on a sonogram machine.



Our appt was at 9:45am - we were seen @12pm. (we ate an entire bag of goldfish and many cookies during our wait).



Finally, I was on the table and ready to go.



I reminded Dr. Martin about his telling us it looked like a boy last month and that the other doctor's office I go to had told me that they couldn't see anything.



He did a quick look and announced 'Boy'.



Bryana told him to show us on the monitor.



So, when Dr. Martin took another look - to show us our new son...



He saw - A GIRL!!!



Even though we were surprised - thinking all month it was a boy - deep down I knew it had to be a girl.



I conceived just too early in my cycle - the odds of boy were very low.



This pregancy continues to shock us - first that we are pregnant at all and next, that it is a girl.



She is perfect and looks like a small doll inside there.



Now, to think of girl names....

To BON JOVI or not to BON JOVI - This is the question.

Everyone who knows me knows that I'll stop at nothing to get my butt inside of a Bon Jovi concert.

Nothing - except having major surgery only a week before - that might stop me.

They are coming to town - April 26, 2008.

I'll be having this baby - April 18 -22, 2008.

Who here thinks I'll be well enough to attend this concert?

Even I have my doubts.

It is easy to think about when I'm still pregnant and feeling good - but I know what those first few weeks are like after you have a baby.

I'll be less than 8 days out from the birth and only 3-5 days out of the hospital.

Can I drag my body - to this concert?

1. Cut and sore tummy wound...

2. Still bleeding (sorry so gross, but it is true)...

3. Percocet'ed up...

4. No sleep for a week...

5. Shifting water-weight...

6. Boobs full of milk...

NOT to mention - leaving a week old baby at home with someone!!!!!!!!!


How terrible that I'm gonna try to get tickets anyway!!!!

You never know!!

15 weeks - long way until April.

I don't really have much new to tell about the status of this pregnancy. I have been feeling the occasional bumps of tiny movement so I'm assuming that all is well in there.

I have two doctors appts. this month.

Next Monday - Veterans day - Where I'll be bringing my children with me since there will be no school.

This ought to be interesting. I thought it would be nice for the girls to see the baby on sonogram and hear the heartbeat.

Later this month, I go for the 'big' sonogram. It is the one where they look at everything - hands and feet, organs and (hopefully)tell us the sex of this child.

At this point, I really don't care. It is what it is, as long as it is healthy - all is good.

12 weeks and counting.

I know that I haven't been on here much and more than one person has asked me to update - so here it is.

Everything, so far, has been perfect.

Each visit to the doctor, we do a sonogram (why? just because my doctor loves us and is willing to do it).

Last visit, he showed us a small bulge, between the legs, and announced that "That is a pee-pee".

He added that it is still to small to tell for sure but that if it was a girl, there wouldn't be anything there to see. He said to wait and next month we'll know for sure.

So, in the meantime, I go to the perinatalogist's office for my first visit.

They need to do a sonogram and draw blood - all part of a new test for Down's Syndrome.

I ask the tech to check to make sure that is it a 'him' and not a 'her'.

She searches and searches - can't confirm anything - states that the baby is too small.

I tell her that the other doctor thought he saw a 'buldge' and did she not see the same thing?

She looks again and says, 'Well, it COULD be a boy'.

What is that? Back to square one.

Otherwise, I feel this baby - about 5 times a day. Sounds early but I've been feeling it for about a week now.

Went to the doctors today - 1st visit

Just an update...

Went to the doctor's today - wonderful experience.

My original appt. was for an annual check-up, so when they changed the appt. to today's PRE-NATAL visit, whoever booked it didn't change the reason.

So, I go in and the nurse tells me to stand on the scale as she is looking down at the paper, checking boxes.

She says, 'So, I guess you're here because you have some gyn. problems'
I say, 'Oh yeah, I've got a big one'.

**she is still looking down**

Then she asks,'What exactly is the nature of your problem that would bring you in today?'

So I turned around and pointed to my belly (which is obviously pregnant) and said, 'Should I be concerned about this?'

She looked up and it took a moment to register - then she showed me her patient list and next to my name it just said 'GYN PROBLEM'.

My husband and I got a laugh out of that.

Then, the doctor sees me and notices that my tummy is round and tells me that it is all bloating and GAS.

My DH was laughing, accusing me of holding in gas.

I don't have gas - weak stomach muscles, yes, but gas?

We got a laugh out of that too.


Bottom line - ONE baby, Strong heartbeat - measures exactly 9 weeks (which is perfect).

The glass is half empty

Mentally, this week has been pretty challenging.

Bryan is out of town, in West Virginia, starting the beginning of football season at a college level. This is the pattern we will have from now on - as long as he is blessed with making connections and getting higher in the football rankings.

I spent much of the day stressed to the point of exhaustion. I do believe that each of my children tried their best to push me over the edge.

Today is Wade's birthday. He is two and I was sad for him because this is the last birthday he'll have as 'the baby' in the family.

Tomorrow is a small, family party for him - couldn't today with Bryan out of town.

I have done ZERO planning. I almost forgot to order the cake, but at least I did that.

Karen dropped off ALL of the maternity clothes that I had parted with two years ago - it was four garbage bags full.

Two years ago, thinking I was OVER being pregnant, I gave her the entire wardrobe for a friend of hers, saving only a small box of my favorites stuff, just in case.

Well, just in case is here and I don't know if I have the energy to go through all the clothes.

One of my friends from work, Heather, gave me a big bag of her maternity clothes and I still haven't taken them out of the bag.

Why did I accept ALL these clothes - I don't want to let the chance go by without remembering the clothes I wore during my other pregnancies. I was elated to be pregnant while wearing those clothes... I'm hoping for the same effect.

So now, I have 6 bags of clothes to got through and I just stare at them.

I want to put on my old jeans - not look like a house for the next 8 months. (plus).

I have to admit that a VERY small piece of me is understanding that this little miracle, growing inside me, is truly meant to be here.

I have to admit that a VERY small piece of me takes comfort knowing that after this pregancy is over - we are done and our family is complete.

But who, by today's standards, has 4 children? Not too many, I'll tell ya.

Karen and Bill are the exception. She comes from a family of 6 - she is lost without the crowd.

So what is my excuse? I don't know.

But I do know that today, at Burger King, I got my first look with raised eyebrows and the question - 'are they all yours?' - knowing full well that the question ACTUALLY meant - 'are you nuts to have one more?'.

It is my life - God wants this little one to come to us - I just hope that it comes with the strength to raise them all and not jump off a cliff.

Let's talk about names.

The subject of names has come up. I know, I know... we have months and months to think about it.

But Wade wasn't named until the very end of my last pregnancy - we just couldn't agree.

This time we are starting early.

I'm very picky about names...

For boys/girls - I don't really like trendy names. I have taken great strides to not name our children names that are super popular. Anything on the top ten lists (for the previous year) are out the window for me.

For girls - I'm not interested in any names that end in a long "e". Like Stacy, Tracy, Macy, Bailee, Wendy, Melanie. They are just not my taste.

For boys - I would prefer a name that doesn't have a strong 's' sound. With our last name, it would be just too many "s"'s.


For a boy, I brought up the name Janson. I love it. It just feels right.

I like the idea of calling him Jan for short, yet, it he wants he can go by Janson and it sounds nice.

I post (daily) to discussion boards and brought this subject up... there are many, many female names that men use. (Dana, Lee, Kim, Stacy to name a few).

Now, I just have to convince Bryan.

He has yet to veto it, but he usually reserves his own opinion until after we know the sex of the baby. It eliminates half of the discussion.

I got to see the baby... I cheated and went downstairs at work.

I just wanted to throw out a quick update.

I couldn't wait any longer and, yesterday at work, I snuck down to the Ultrasound dept. and begged the guy to do a look-see.

He did.

I told him he was going to tell me one of three things -

#1 - I was pregnant with twins.

#2 - I was pregnant with one, but further along than I thought.

#3 - I was pregnant with one and it is only 7 weeks (by my estimates) and my tummy is just fat.


He said it was #3.

I don't have a sono photo to show it off, but I got to see the little peanut with a flickering heartbeat.

Only one.

Thankfully.

So - it looks like this baby will be due May 2nd, which means a mid-April birth... two weeks early for a C-section.

Tummy's swollen - can't get to the doctors for weeks.

Yesterday was kind of crazy.

The elementary school's open house was last night and I had to attend alone - Bryan had a football game to referee.

So, knowing I had to go alone, I threw a pizza on the table and $20 to a teen-age babysitter and I was gone from 6:30 to 8:30p.

I came home to messy kitchen but clean kids - everyone eventually went to bed, just a little later than normal.

I think that this may be the future for me - only soon it will be with four kids!!!


It's funny - I've spent the last two years listening to everyone tell me how we'd be C-R-A-Z-Y to have one more, yet after announcing we are pregnant, the tone has changed to WHAT A BLESSING, YOU'LL BE FINE, QUIT FREAKING OUT.

I'll admit that I'm still freaked out, but I can no longer deny that something is growing inside me. My belly looks about 5 months pregnant.

Just worried that there is two in there... which would be bad.

At work, yesterday, I saw a portable US machine and was tempted to grab it and go into a closet and try to see for myself what's going on in there.

We need to think boy and think only one...

Fingers crossed.

Maybe, I'll grab that machine today.

Getting used to the idea - kind of.

Well, what can I say? Mentally, this has been a challenging week.

To announce that I'm overwhemed at the thought of having 4 children is an understatement; but what is done is done.

The fact it that if there is any home that can handle it - it is ours. It just feels like baby phase of our marriage is the only phase of our marriage.

But, I love Bryan and I know that man loves me. So we'll make it.

I had to break into the maternity clothes box. I'm embarrassed that I have to wear these so soon - my tummy looks 4 months along. What I get for not working out in my youth.

We all went out to dinner (Bryan, me and the 3 kids). I know that people we passed were doing double takes at the amount of kids in tow and my tummy sticking out from under a white maternity shirt.

I must say though, that the children were so well behaved and I was proud to be out with them. I'm hoping that the same will be true when this little one comes along - seating for 6 a any restaurant will be challenging.

Going on a week and the shock is still there.

I am just 6 weeks pregnant, I think, and am already wearing maternity clothes.

Why?

Well, there could be three reasons....

#1 - I'm off on my dates. Which is a good chance because, if my dates were accurate, I wouldn't be pregnant.

#2 - There's more than one in there. Which is just not even thinkable.

#3 - This is what happens when you are pregnant for the fourth time. Your body just knows what's coming and poofs out.

I am choosing to put my entire being into #3.

It is just embarassing that I walk around and people ask 'How far along are you?'.

I'm still figuring out how to answer that - right now, I just say that I'm not sure and leave it at that.




This week has been so crazy - but I'm most surprised at how supportive people are.

Once they get over the shock and asking me if I'm crazy, the conversation takes the tone of how children are blessings and how God had a different plan for us than to let us just have the three.

I can't possibly be expecting... again!!! 8/28/07

Or so I thought - but alas, it is so.

Looking back over the past two weeks, I'm surprised I didn't see the signs. You'd think I'd have the symptoms down by now.

Ever since we've been home from our 10 day vacation to St. Augustine, I have been disappointed that not one pair of pants - jeans or otherwise, can button at the waist.

I just couldn't believe that I stop going to the gym, for a month and eat a few cheeseburgers on vacation and my whole abdomen goes to pot. Well it did and I had made a mental note to self to get my a$$ back to the gym...

If only I didn't also feel run down and tired like I was getting ready to come down with the flu or something. I spent the past week waiting for myself to feel better and like I'd want to go walk on a treadmill.

Then, my boobs started to ache. Not a lot, just a little bit on the sides. I just associated it with the time for me to get my period and that I must be getting it any day now.

Then, my period never came.

First it is a day late... I didn't think anything of it. Then two days and three days... still didn't think anything of it.

Finally after 5 days, I was complaining to a close friend that I must be going through early menopause and she suggested I take a pregnancy test.

A what? I thought to myself. What a ridiculous idea - that I could be pregnant.

Didn't she understand that after 3 kids - I should know what being pregnant feels like?

Didn't she understand that my hubby and I have spent the past two years carefully counting the days of my cycle and that the last time we were together was on day #8?

Wasn't she aware that for my third pregnancy, I had gotten to know my cycle so well that I could tell you weeks in advance when I would be ovulating and that is ALWAYS happened on day 12-13 ?

It was just not possible that I conceived.

Besides that, I just made an appointment to see the ob/gyn to arrange a tubal ligation, in the upcoming months.

Finally, after 3 children, I was feeling like I was D-O-N-E with having babies. I have always been open to having one more, but had to face the fact that, in reality, we couldn't afford another one.

So, after getting off the phone, I drove over to the pharmacy and purchased a pregnancy test kit. Unlike previous times where I picked the most expensive one because I didn't want a cheap test to miss anything, I didn't care if the test was cheap. I wasn't wasting $$$ for a test to tell me that I'm not pregnant.

Getting home, I made a bee line into the bathroom, little Wade (23 months) in tow, following me every step. I sit down, trying to ignore his own pleas to use the toilet (which he doesn't do, he just likes to stand there pretending he is urinating); but I didn't have time for that now.

I quickly hold the stick in the middle of the stream, counting 1,2,3,... up to 8. The tests want you to leave it there for 5 seconds, but I wanted to get every last drop on the stick.

The thing turned positive in my hand!!!!!!!!!

I didn't get it right away. I wasn't sure if the thing needed one blue line or two blue lines to read a positive test - all the while praying that it needed two lines

.

So, leaving it on the counter, I quickly read the directions - only to see that it was only a single line.

Then, it started to register. My eyes switched back and forth between the stick and the directions, comparing the two. No matter how much I stared at it, it wasn't changing... it was positive.

After a good cry, which was consoled by my son, on the bathroom floor, I had to compose myself and come up with a good way of telling my husband that a fourth child is on the way.

This wasn't going to be easy or pretty.

About me...

With all the new ways to keep in touch with family and friends, it is hard to decide what is the best way to reach everyone. Whenever we have pictures to share or stories to tell, I find myself sending out multiple emails and storing movies to discs - just so everyone can enjoy the upbringing of our children, as much as possible.

So I decided to start a blog. Hopefully, I'll be able to add new photos and update everyone on our lives, as well as have the ability to share stories about life - mine or my family's.

This is a good place to keep a journal of our lives... come back often.